not much time... i need to get to bed. but i've had these few photos on my desktop for a couple weeks now already. i've been wanting to share a bit of our fall. as per tradition, we hit up the pumpkin patch & rivers let me snap the obligatory photos. he's such a big boy now...

well, we successfully completed our first week at greenville montessori! and i'm happy to report my anxiety has leveled off. (not disappeared, just leveled) my big boy started school on wednesday & hasn't looked back. last night, i attended the first parents meeting. of course, i was anxious about this as well. i had no idea what to expect, how many people would be there, what it was about, etc... anxiety. but i forced myself to go & i'm glad i did. i feel a little more in touch with what the school community is like & what to expect at other parent meetings. i will say though, i felt like a teenager in that room. wonder if i looked like one too? all the parents, with an exception of 1 or 2 others, look like they're in their 30's & 40's... maybe even a couple parents in their 50's and one dad had to be in his 60's or 70's - i'm not kidding. of course, i'm 29, so i'm not far away from 30, but i felt young. i guess that's a good thing!? better than to have felt old i suppose. ;) i mingled a bit. met a couple parents who have kids in rivers' class & even offered to photograph school events & help with the yearbook. i'm probably crazy seeing as how i barely have time for a shower, but i know i'll treasure the photographs & the memories when rivers is all grown up. i'm also glad i attended last night b/c i had a chance to briefly talk with his teacher. she told me she's in love with rivers! (who wouldn't be!?) she said he's already shown her how smart he is, he focuses very well on the work he's doing, and is very polite. :) made this mama proud! of course, i could have told her she hasn't seen anything yet in regards to his genius, which i haven't shared too much of on this blog. i really need to get this poor old blog updated! anyway, i'll let his teacher find out on her own! ;) here are some photos from his first day...

this is him humoring me with his little fake smile.

i love his backpack (so does he)! and so does everyone else who has seen it. i got it on amazon in case you're wondering. there are different cute animals to choose from.

here he is putting his backpack into a cubby...

and his teacher explained that at this school, we take our shoes off. he was happy about that! (if you're wondering why, my best guess is to keep the classrooms cleaner & for comfort, but i don't know for sure.)

walking into his first classroom...

and he met ellis the cat, who lives at the school & goes between all the classrooms. gotta love that! rivers wasn't sure what to think. he was so excited to see a cat in his classroom, but wasn't sure about petting him. we have a cat, but zoey won't let rivers anywhere close to her. he's use to cats running away at first sight of him!

thank goodness i was able to contain my tears until i was safely back in my car! although my throat was in a knot watching all of this unfold. he's just so big now!! i miss having a baby to snuggle & hold. it realllly hit me all of a sudden!

i'm struggling today. rivers starts preschool tomorrow. its unbelievable that we've reached this point already. i know on one hand, i'm being a little dramatic. its just preschool. but i guess its more the fact that schooling is officially starting and from here on out, he'll have that outside influence. so scary! kinda makes me want to home-school. when i really stop and think about it, the scary part isn't just the bad things other children will teach him (i know that's inevitable). the truly scary part is that my child is a reflection of me & i'm fearful of my own shortcomings. i'm fearful of them being shoved in my face. maybe its totally crazy of me, but i'm feeling anxious and nervous about having prepared him for the outside world. i know he's smart, loves to learn, & will do great with montessori, so its not that aspect i'm worried over. its more the interaction with kids & teachers & other parents that really causes me anxiety. but to be honest, that's just me. i've always been reluctant of the unknown. i'm always anxious going it to something new. i'm always nervous about how i'll relate or get along with others. i just hope & pray this doesn't wear off on rivers. i do my best to hide it. i think most people think of me as a confident person, but i really do just fake it to make it. i hope he can't see through it. he's 3 - surely he doesn't... right!? my mind is filled with crazy thoughts due to preschool. and really & truly it has nothing to do with preschool & everything to do with no longer having a baby and my own weird self doubt that this phase has brought about. i know once we get settled into the new routine, i'll be ok. its just getting there, that's all...

if i feel this way over preschool, i can't imagine how i'll be feeling when we're sending him off to college. oh boy!!

greetings from the beach! we are in the outer banks for the week & came back from the aquarium this morning. while rivers is napping, i decided to go ahead & share a few quick photos. wish i could make myself do this more often!

this is rivers' smile these days... at least when you ask him to smile. i don't mind it one bit b/c i know for a fact this was my fake smile when i was about his age. i happen to love it!

thanks to my bro for snapping the family pics for us!

hello blog - yes, i realize its been 4 months since i updated you. i'm sorry. just wanted to pop in to say that while my head is spinning, i fear it will not slow down until after the holiday rush.

good news is - i'm caught up on my photography work. i'm currently editing a wedding i shot at the beginning of the month & next up is an engagement session i did this past weekend. so luckily i'm not feeling overwhelmed in that area. totally manageable.

the bad news is - i'm so terribly behind with all my personal photos. tis true - the plumber has leaky pipes - the photographer has no photos. ok, not true - i have thousands of photos - they just aren't getting edited & printed, which is such a shame b/c then how are you suppose to enjoy them?

against my better judgement, i've uploaded spring & some of summer unedited pics (yes, you read that right - unedited) on my smugmug page. i'd rather share something rather than nothing, so there it is. i still have plenty more & hope to get caught up at some point in my life. (hopefully before rivers graduates from high school!) ;) and  hopefully i can get back to this blog to update on life sooner rather than later.

i can't believe we're almost through april & i have yet to post on my blog! spring has proved to be busy, busy, busy for my photo business, so i'm doing my best to stay calm, keep focused, and keep up with editing. why do i feel like i'm failing!?

i had 2 of my own weddings in march & agreed to second shoot a 3rd wedding, which requires editing... i doubt i'll do that again! i'll be finishing up wedding #2 this week & starting on wedding #3 (which is due in 1 week). aside from the weddings, i have 3 portrait sessions that should be done by this weekend as well as the model shoots i did at the photographer's beach retreat at the beginning of the month. i also have another wedding on saturday at the aquarium in manteo, followed by another wedding a week from today in myrtle beach. i can't imagine why i feel overwhelmed. despite feeling overwhelmed, i know that busy is good, so i just keep on going...

because i can not handle one more thing on my plate at this moment, i've decided to hire a house cleaner to take care of my home. i know my house is covered in cat hair and pollen, which really grosses me out (as does the pink ring forming in my toilets from lack of cleaning). and while jeremy is helpful with tidying the house, doing dishes, yard work, etc... he's not really into washing windows, scrubbing the floor, wiping base boards & cabinets, and dusting the blinds. so, as painful as it is to write a check to someone for cleaning, i'm just going to suck it up and do it. at the end of the day, my sanity & a clean house is more important than being short a couple hundred bucks.

now, in mommy news - rivers is doing great with potty training!! we started a week and a half ago & he's pretty much potty trained when it comes to peeing. he's had 2 accidents - one the first day we started & then another this past saturday when he was home with jeremy. other than that - he's been great! even when out at restaurants or the park, he's been able to tell us when he needs to go.  pooping is another story. he hasn't gotten the concept of going sitting down, which honestly makes sense. he's been use to going standing up (which is weird to me, but normal for him), so that will be a separate battle. luckily, its pretty obvious when he needs to go, so we'll sit him on the potty, but then offer him a pull up when he gets frustrated. i'm just hoping he'll be fully trained in time for school to start in september... did i mention he got accepted into montessori? i know i posted it on facebook, but not sure i put it on here. we're very excited for him to get his start at a montessori school. while i'd love for him to stick with it through high school, i know financially that will not be possible for us. its enough of a stretch just doing pre-school there. but we've committed to 3 years in the montessori program, which covers 2 years of pre-school and then 1 year of kindergarten. the plan is for him to start at public school in 1st grade. i can't believe september is the beginning of it all! exciting & sad at the same time... and scary too. i hate the thought of outside influences affecting his sweet self, but i also know i can't keep him in a bubble forever. my baby is growing up.

i have a verrrry looooooong post that i typed up about to share today.  i needed to get it all out.  we're feeling quite stressed this week over something that started out very exciting.  i've decided its probably in my best interest to not share it all over the world wide web... at least not right now.  but so as not to leave you hanging, i will tell you that we're all healthy (aside from stress) and overall doing ok.  the stress has all been caused by a silly fence.  go figure, huh?  there are people in japan without food, water, homes, fences, their loved ones, etc. and i have a nosy old man, who doesn't even live in my neighborhood, complaining about things he has no business in.  i'm so glad i'll be getting out of town this weekend on a photography retreat to the outer banks.  poor jeremy will be home with rivers though.  hopefully there won't be any trouble & the boys can just enjoy each other while "the mom" is out of the house!

oh - check out my photo blog for more pics from the daffodil field!!

its 1:32 am and i should be in bed sound asleep.  but the time change & the sweet tea has kept me up tonight.  i am forcing myself off to bed after i post this one sweet image.

ok - i'll give you another in case we're not facebook friends...

i am in love with our family photos that i took last weekend & can't wait to share more!  good night!

the love was flowing at casa cayton this vday!!  would you believe that i uploaded these pics & began this post 1 week ago?!  i'm a total slacker.  so, here it is... valentine's 2011.  rivers and my mom surprised jeremy & i with these lovely roses the friday before vday.

jeremy and i surprised rivers with a little vday decorating that he loved!  i simply cut out hearts, wrote a letter on each one, used a hole punch at the top, then strung them through a purple string we had laying around.  of course, rivers loves letters, so he loved seeing his name spelled out across the mantle when he woke up on valentine's day.  it doesn't take much to impress him, thank god!

i happened to find this little mailbox in the $1 bins at target a couple of weeks ago.  i picked up some red puffy paint from walmart & decorated it especially for my little valentine.  nothing fancy - just his name & a few hearts on it.  he loved it!

i filled the mailbox with more cut out hearts that jeremy stamped with animal stamps we already had.  as rivers pulled the hearts out of the mailbox he would say, "a dog heart, a cow heart, a whale heart..." super cute!

and the other little surprise we had for him on valentine's day was the living room full of balloons on the floor!  when we were at walmart i found a bag of 8 balloons that said happy valentine's day on them for $1.  jeremy & i just used our lungs & blew them up ourselves.  besides, balloons are more fun for little guys when they're on the floor, rather than in the air!  {a week later & a couple balloons are still hanging on, although rivers has pretty much lost interest in them by now!}

so that was our fun vday with rivers.  of course, we had to work, so i would have loved to have done more, but i know rivers appreciated all the little surprises of the day.

jeremy and i celebrated our valentine's day a little early.  we went on a date the saturday evening before & ate at plum tree bistro.  so, so, so delicious!  i can't wait to go back & we surely will!  it was romantic, quiet, delicious, delightful.  the perfect date.  i felt more connected & in love with my hubby after that delicious meal.  amazing what a couple hours to ourselves over a candle lit dinner can do.  i have to say, this was the best valentine's day we've had in a while.  i didn't need any gifts, flowers, or chocolate.  i just needed alone time with my husband at a restaurant for grown ups only.  {although he did spoil me with chocolate as well!}

so... check out my new pillows!  100% better than what they use to look like. (sorry no pics for comparison!)

 

they are not actually new.  they are re-worked & re-freshed.  aka: re-covered!  my friend christi, who i met when i was working at my sister's closet, sews just about anything.  she hemmed pants for me quite a few times before her & her husband moved to new bern back in 2008.  i was sad i had lost my seamstress.  but great news - they moved back!  so i've been fully taking advantage of her (in a good way)!  i dropped off 4 pillows & some fabric with her & 1 week later i had new pillows!!  i then dropped off 1 pair of my pants to be hemmed & 3 pairs of jeremy's suit pants to be let out (sorry jerm).  ;)  her prices are more than reasonable, she does a great job, and best of all she is so kind & fun to talk with.  so... christi is open for business in greenville!  if you or anyone you know is need of any sewing, please remember christi.  she is trying to drum up some business in this little venture & i wanted to help spread the word.  not that i have a whole lot of local readers, but you never know who may come across it.  if you'd like her contact info send me an email & i'll be glad to share it with you!

we're no fair weather fans.  with my mom & dad having been born & raised in pittsburgh, we are and will always be steelers fans!  so even though they played a disappointing game last night, i'm still going to post my cute boys pre-game. rivers is sporting his sweatshirt that aunt nanette sent him.  when we were up in pittsburgh last week we tried to find rivers a new steelers shirt, but couldn't find one his size. luckily nanette tracked one down for him & mailed it just in time!  thank you nanette!!  super cute & its a 3t, so we'll get good use out of it for next year!  we did find him steelers socks & a hat, {which he refused to wear}, so jeremy held it up.

and for the sake of reminising on better steelers games, here is rivers back in 2009 when the steelers won the super bowl!!!  and again, the adorable little outfit was sent straight from pittsburgh from aunt nanette!

 

and in other news... we had a nice little walk around the duck pond at the hospital yesterday afternoon.  we had some bread to feed the ducks, geese, and sea gulls, who were all quite happy to see us.  i also did a little self timer action with the camera.  the little gazebo was a great spot to prop my camera.  rivers refused to be in the picture until he saw mommy & daddy do it.

then he obliged & did a great job!  look at that smile!! :)  so this our february family photo. {remember my new year's resolution!?} which, by the way, i should add that i almost forgot to get a january picture {told you i'm horrible with resolutions!}, but thankfully i remembered on the 31st just before i put rivs down for bed.  we did a quick iphone photo, which for some reason will not email, so i haven't been able to get it off of my phone.  as soon as i do, i will share it.  not that its a great photo, but its the 3 of us, which was my goal.

next up, i'll share with you how much {or how little} i got crossed off my list this weekend.

household things...
jasper needs a bath.
swiffer & mop floors.
pick up pillows from christi.
the never ending pile of laundry.

business related things...
work on client wedding albums. {only half crossed out b/c i'm still not done!}
order client prints.
continue updating new website.  {again, worked on it, but still not done!}
work on blog re-design.
find gift bags & tissue paper.

so that's all for now.  i will soon share with you my new pillows that christi did a fantastic job on!!

either i'm really lazy, or the trip to pittsburgh last week wore me slam out!  every day of this week i have been in bed by 9 or 10.  that is pretty unheard of for me... ask jeremy.  he's usually complaining that i stay up way too late on my computer.  i've only turned on my computer once this week & i was only on it for maybe 15 minutes before shutting it back down.  yep, its been that kind of week.  i have just had absolutely no energy to do anything other than get in bed.  i have managed to get a few loads of laundry done... only because it absolutely had to be done.  so, i'm hoping this weekend i'll find a burst of energy & plenty of time to get things crossed off my "to do" list.  {or in other words - get this girl some more caffeine!!}

household things...
jasper needs a bath.
swiffer & mop floors.
pick up pillows from christi.
the never ending pile of laundry.

business related things...
work on client wedding albums.
order client prints.
continue updating new website.
work on blog re-design.
find gift bags & tissue paper.

i'm gonna guess that only half of that stuff gets done this weekend.  i guess half is better than where i'm at now though!?  and i'll be picking up my camera again for the first time in 1 month.  i have a maternity session on sunday that i'm really looking forward to.  and the steelers are playing the super bowl on sunday!  we'll be celebrating with mom & dad at their house.  go steelers!!

rather than reading tonight before rivers went down, I rocked & sang to him. it's unusual he let's me do that so I went with it & enjoyed such a tender moment with him. while I was singing a lullaby he actually began to sing along. be still my heart! a moment i never want to forget!! when I finished the song he said, "that's a nice song!" and even though i have a horrible singing voice I'm so glad to know that he appreciates my effort!

my view at the dinner table tonight...

while we normally sit down together as a family for dinner every night (rivers in his high chair), jeremy was on the phone up in the bonus room.  dinner was ready, rivers was hungry, and climbed up into "daddy's chair" all by himself.  he proceeded to tell me that he climbed into daddy's chair like a big boy & he was ready to eat his tacos!  can't argue with that!  so i sat in my usual seat, across the table from him and watched as my baby becomes more & more of a big boy each day.  (sniff, sniff!)  i'm afraid we may be at the end of our high chair days, which i know is an exciting milestone for him, but its a little sad for me.  (of course, i did not let on to that at all!)  he ate 2 rounds of tacos, complete with tomatoes & cheese on top, with at least 2 or 3 helpings of cheesy rice.  that boy can't ever get enough rice.  when he was finished he sat there until i wiped him down.  i told him how proud i was of him for eating such a good dinner & sitting so nicely.  taco tuesday at casa cayton was a hit (jeremy ate his cold, which wasn't a hit), but rivers sure did look like a little big boy in his daddy's chair.  he melts my heart daily!

rivers woke up around 8 this morning.  jeremy went in to get him.  i heard rivers say, "i want my mommy!" which sure does make my heart sing!  (poor daddy though)  so the pitter patter of little feet come running down the hall, into our bedroom.  rivers says to me, "oh hi mommy!  i want cheerios & milk and you want coffee - come on, get out of the bed!"

how could i say no to that?!  even though my bed was warm & the house was freezing (51* - our furnace had stopped again in the middle of the night).  but that sweet little face got me up & going.  and poor daddy went outside to fix the furnace... again.

the other morning when i went into rivers' room to get him up out of his crib, he had a mouthful to tell me.  i love our morning conversations & you never know what he's been thinking or dreaming...

so on monday, his first thoughts/words to me are this:

let's go to olive garden with nice ambiance and eat noodles.  mommy, daddy, and boogie - the whole family.  come on let's go for a car ride!

yes my friends - at 7:30 in the morning, the boy is ready for some olive garden!  and yes, ambiance is now in his vocabulary.  the last time we ate at the olive garden we jokingly talked about the "ambiance" and he hasn't forgotten.  he surely is his mama's boy because i sure do love olive garden!  i sadly had to explain though that mommy & daddy had to go to work, but i promised him we would go to the olive garden soon for dinner!  he was little disappointed, but he happily ate his cheerios & milk while watching sesame street.  we still haven't gotten there - maybe we will before the week is out!

and i'm back with christmas day continued.  we headed over to my parents house christmas evening (after rivers' nap) and this is what he found when we arrived.  more gifts!  (yes, even i am a little disgusted at how much stuff rivers got!) although, i will point out that all of these gifts were not for him.  they were for a total of 6 people.   needless to say, he was super excited.

he immediately knew this was a gift he wanted to open.  not sure what gave it away?!  oh maybe the obnoxious wrapping paper.  (just kidding - it is cute - he loved it!)

and of course, at this point in the day, he was a professional paper shredder!

working all angles...

ta da!  hello pretty mega blocks table!  thank you uncle alex!

me and my baby boy...

and the obligatory family christmas photo 2010.  my goodness, i sure do look tired!  next year i'm going to try to at least shower on christmas and hopefully get a little more sleep!  ;)  i won't do the side by side from 2009 because then i'll just feel older.

remind me to tell you about mine & rivers' morning conversation this past monday.  :)

i'm really not one for making new year's resolutions. i just don't see the point... i usually forget all about them by february. but this year, i did come up with something that is not so much a resolution - more of a goal for myself. i want to take at least 1 family photo of jeremy, rivers, and myself each month of this year. i'm not talking a monthly professional photo shoot here - i'd be happy with a quick iphone photo. life passes by much too quickly and the 3 of us don't have nearly enough photos together. i have no problem finding beauty in the everyday lives of my clients, but for some reason, i find it hard to see the everyday beauty in my own life. i'm hoping to capture some of those moments of us as a family. eating dinner together, enjoying a lazy sunday morning watching mickey mouse, hopping in the car for a quick family outing. these are the moments i want to remember forever and even if it means putting my camera on a timer & it not being perfectly exposed or composed - i will have it caught on camera in a perfectly, imperfect way. which i suppose is what life is anyway...

happy new year!!